A friend says it’s “Doppelgänger Week” on Facebook. You’re supposed to change your profile pic to that of some celebrity who resembles you. My choice may be stretching the rules a bit, but this evil bastard haunted me all through high school, because (and it pains me to admit it) I looked and talked pretty [...]

In my dreams, the creators of Blackboard all die in a plane crash. They find themselves in hell, face to face with Satan, who giggles and capers as demons drag them into a featureless white room that is completely empty but for a series of small desks with simple laptops. “Welcome to my home,” Satan [...]

Unfortunately. In less than 24 hours I went from three weeks of this: to THIS: Normally, my dish soap is an oddly pretty jewel-tone bluegreen color, but my kitchen got so friggin’ cold it DEMULSIFIED MY DISH SOAP. The cold also froze my kitchen pipes. I’m making coffee with water from the bathroom sink and [...]