Mar 10
4
The Clinical
The Clinical:
- Two parts bottom-shelf bourbon
- One part store-brand cola
- Two orange slices
- Ice
Frequently Asked Questions About “The Clinical“:
Q: Do I have to be a nursing student to drink these?
A: No, but it sure helps.
Q: What makes this a “Clinical” as opposed to a “really crummy bourbon-and-coke”?
A: The following provide the rationale for calling this drink a “Clinical” rather than just calling it a “really crummy bourbon and coke”:
1. Proportion: there must be at least a 2 : 1 bourbon-to-cola ratio.
2. The Orange: It’s really all about the orange. The orange slices are the distinctive element that sets apart The Clinical and imbues it with the necessary gravitas to be a Drink for the Ages®.
3. Quality Ingredients: Rather, the lack of quality ingredients. The beauty of The Clinical lies in its seriously-cheap bourbon and store-brand cola.
Q: Why do you keep italicizing “Clinical”?
A: That’s just how I roll.
Q: If I order a Clinical in a bar, will I score with the ladies?
A: No, I’m sorry. You’ll be laughed at.
Q: Why should I drink these?
A: They taste really, really good. They taste especially good when you drink them while the washing machine works to get tiny flecks of old-lady-poop out of your whites.
