I promise, officer. She was like that when I met her.
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I have never been one to let the pesky details of reality get in the way of a good story, and I am especially disinclined to do so these days.
Any details that I include about patients are straight-up lies. If you think you recognize a patient based on the details in my blog, consider it proof positive that I didn't actually have anything to do with whomever you're thinking of.