Scrotal Edema – I have a new life goal: to never have a MILFy doctor write, in an actual, legally-admissible medical record, an order for nurses to suspend my grapefruit-sized, grotesquely-swollen nutsack in a sling. I didn’t want to add this due to patient confidentiality, but now that I’ve seen this order SEVERAL times (and have talked to nurses who have also seen this order several times, some in other facilities,) I think I’m on safe ground. There are, apparently, plenty of dudes needing the sling action. That’s some horror.

Transurethral Prostatectomy - don’t google it. Seriously. If you do, for the love of GOD don’t watch the video.

“The dog is out dragging his taterhole on the ground.” – Jenny

“Those little kids kill us, because they look really cute, but they are nasty.” – regarding pediatrics and PPE

“Is that… duct tape?” – unknown nurse examining the site where my Grandpa attaches his colostomy bag

“Just use two quick puffs. If you give a baby a whole breath, you’ll burst its lungs.” – from CPR class