PBDS Guide

I am vain and narcissistic enough that I check my stats pretty compulsively. Of the three hits I get each day, one is my dog, one is my mom, and the other one comes from random visitors. Sometimes they show up with a little help from my friends, sometimes they just find me. (Someone recently found my site by punching “virtual sex Abilene” into Google. I can’t decide if that is disturbing, awesome, or both in equal measure.)


Ever since I made a post with PBDS in the title, I’ve noticed that a lot of my traffic comes from people trying to get more information about that test. There are lots of people out there looking for information about the PBDS test, PBDS scenarios, PBDS study guide, PBDS information, PBDS this, PBDS that. All kinds of PBDS stuff. (Didja see what I did there? You like that, don’t you, googlebot? I know you do.)

There is a lot of good information out there about the PBDS test. Lots of sites have descriptions of the format, grading philosophy, and the nature of the questions, and there are a lot of places to find a chart that breaks down possible diagnoses and lists the assessments, interventions, necessary findings to report, and diagnostic tests associated with each. There are sites that describe scenarios and diagnoses you might want to think about. All of these guides have study information that you will find immensely helpful, but they all lack one thing: dick jokes. That’s where I come in.


First, a disclaimer: I have no idea what I’m talking about. I’ll describe and give examples of how the test questions will feel, as near as I can remember (like, two months and 30% liver damage later,) and I’ll write my answers kind of the way I think I did the first time around. My intent is to give you a sense of how the questions and responses feel. Hopefully it will help you. If not, don’t sue me. I don’t know what the real deal is; I just know that I passed, and this is kind of how I phrased my answers. Your mileage may vary.


Second, a disclaimer: because my real persona is attached to my blog, I want to make something perfectly clear to whatever grim beancounters have stopped kicking puppies and squeezing pennies long enough to read this. This series of articles is parody. It is written by a nurse for other nurses, as a work of humorous fiction. I practice with the utmost professionalism and concern for my patients, my coworkers, and the environment of care, and I have done so for well over three days.


If I were to blog with the same compassion, meticulous attention to detail, and rigorous adherence to standards that I use in my nursing, however, my writing would be as dry and sterile as a fresh PICC-line dressing change. Nobody would read it. Not even my dog or my mom.

—-> Continue to Part One



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